What It Means to Be Seen (And Why So Many of Us Feel Invisible)
- Val Blair
- Jun 21
- 4 min read
There is a quiet ache most of us carry, though we rarely name it out loud.
It is the longing to be seen.
Not just noticed in a scroll or waved at in passing, but truly seen for the beautiful, complicated, one‑of‑a‑kind person we are.
We live in a world bursting with ways to “stay connected.”
We post, we tweet, and our phones never stop buzzing—yet more people than ever whisper that they feel alone.
Technology gives us a flood of updates, but real connection happens in the calm between the pings. No wonder so many hearts feel invisible in the noise.
I built A Light in the Chaos for that very reason.
It is a lighthouse for anyone who has been drifting in fog, unsure if anyone notices their little ship out on the waves.
If you have ever wondered whether your inner world matters, let this piece be a gentle hand on your shoulder reminding you that it absolutely does.
1. Being Seen: More Than a Glance
To be seen is to have someone look past the surface and say, “I recognize you.”
It is the moment a friend hears the wobble in your voice and asks how your heart is really doing.
It is the gentle glance that notices your shoulders tense at certain words.
It is presence, not performance.
Why is it so rare?
Because true seeing requires slowing down, listening between the lines, and dropping our own story long enough to meet another person where they are.
That kind of attention feels like gold in a world racing to the next notification.
A Tiny Practice
The next time you speak with a loved one, put your phone face‑down. Make eye contact.
Let them finish without planning your reply.
It may feel simple but watch how the room shifts when you give someone the gift of unhurried attention.
2. Feeling Chosen: The Deep Yes
Many of us give so much energy to caring for others that we secretly fear no one would pick us first. Being chosen says, “You matter enough for me to invest my time and tenderness right here.”
Feeling chosen changes our posture.
We breathe easier.
We dare to speak honestly.
We soften the protective armor we wear out in the world.
And when we feel chosen by ourselves first, we stop begging for scraps of approval because we are already fed from within.
Reflection Prompt
Think back to a moment—big or small—when someone chose you.
How did your body react?
Did your shoulders drop?
Did you smile without planning to?
Write down three words that describe that feeling.
Keep them where you can see them this week.
3. Choosing Yourself: An Act of Quiet Rebellion
Choosing yourself sounds simple, yet it can feel radical.
It means pausing long enough to ask, “What do I need right now?” even when deadlines loom or loved ones are calling.
It is not selfish.
It is self‑honoring.
When we choose ourselves, we model healthier love for everyone around us.
Maybe choosing yourself today is stepping outside for five minutes of fresh air or turning on a song that makes your hips move or canceling a plan that drains your spirit.
Small choices add up.
They teach your nervous system that you can be trusted with your own care.
Quick Anchor
Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly.
Inhale for a slow count of four.
Exhale for a slow count of six.
Whisper silently, “I choose me.”
Repeat twice more.
4. Finding Connection in a Wired World
Humans are wired for belonging.
Yet endless scrolling can trick us into thinking we are “part of things” while our hearts grow colder in the glow of a screen.
Real connection asks for courage.
It asks us to show up imperfect, to share a messy truth, to listen when silence feels safer.
Community does not have to be large.
One honest friend, one supportive group, one space where you can drop the mask is powerful medicine.
That is the heartbeat of A Light in the Chaos—creating tiny sanctuaries where strangers become companions on the healing path.
Invitation
If you have been hanging out on the edges, consider this your nudge inward. Comment on a post.
Send a voice note to someone you admire.
Join a group call.
Let a real person hear your real voice.
5. The Lighthouse Moment
Picture yourself standing on a dark shoreline.
Far off, a steady beam sweeps across the waves.
Each time the light reaches you, it says, “I’m here. Keep coming.”
That is what it means to be seen.
That is what it means to be chosen.
And that is what happens when you finally choose yourself—you become the lighthouse too.
You do not have to wait for perfect circumstances to step into that light.
Start where you are.
Offer your real presence to one person today, even if that person is the face in your mirror.
Practice the small anchors.
Let technology serve connection rather than replace it.
Because the truth is simple: you deserve to feel visible.
You deserve to feel chosen.
And the world feels a little less chaotic every time one more heart believes that.
Gentle Closing
Thank you for reading and for sharing this shoreline with me.
If this piece stirred something in you, I would love to hear what “being seen” feels like right now. Drop a comment, message me, or join our next Lighthouse circle.
Your voice matters here.
Until then, keep looking for the light—and keep becoming the light for someone else.
With warmth and steady hope,
Val - Founder, A Light in the Chaos
Looking for steady support through the ups and downs? Learn more about The Lighthouse membership here.
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