When Grief Feels Like Everest: Learning to Take It One Step at a Time

"They say healing isn’t linear but I would argue that grief doesn’t even follow a trail. It's more like climbing a mountain you didn’t choose."

In 2020, I wrote a short post to myself called “One Day You Will Climb Everest. It was a love letter to the version of me who was surviving—barely. This version couldn’t see more than two feet ahead. She was exhausted from waking up every day under the shadow of loss. Back then, Everest wasn’t a metaphor. It was how grief as a journey felt.

It felt impossible. It felt massive. It felt cold. It felt towering over every part of my life. Yet somehow, each day, I managed to take a step.

One shaky, unwilling, or even resentful step at a time.

Grief's Uncharted Territory

When you’re grieving, whether it’s the loss of a person, a dream, or a version of yourself, you don’t wake up one day with clarity or motivation. You don’t get a guidebook. You don’t always want to climb. You just do the next thing.

You sit up in bed. You brush your teeth. You walk to the kitchen and cry over a cup of tea. That is the climb.

We expect grief to make sense. We want to label it into stages and make it manageable. But in reality, grief is wild. It comes in waves and can turn ordinary moments into emotional avalanches.

Grief Doesn’t Ask for Strength—It Asks for Presence

Some days on this mountain, I have felt strong. Other days, not so much. I’ve learned that grief doesn’t demand strength from us. Instead, it asks for presence.

It invites us to be honest. It encourages us to be tired. We must feel all the emotions we often want to avoid, without numbing or rushing past them. This, too, is a step.

The Power of Small Steps

If you’re experiencing grief right now, you don’t need to know where the summit is. You don’t have to map out the entire climb. You only need to focus on one thing: the next foothold.

Consider these small steps:

• Get out of bed and stand in the sun for two minutes.

• Drink a full glass of water.

• Tell a friend, “I’m not okay.”

• Write something down that hurts to say out loud.

  
  

These acts matter. They count. Small steps add up. They form a trail. They remind you that you are, in fact, still moving even when it doesn’t feel like it.

One Day, the Air Feels Different

I can’t pinpoint exactly when it will happen. But you will eventually look around and realize you’re a little higher up the mountain. You’ll feel a breath of clarity.

You might laugh and find that it doesn’t feel like betrayal. You might cry and sense relief, rather than drowning. You still carry the loss, but it doesn’t weigh you down in the same way. In that moment, you realize something sacred: the climb isn’t about conquering grief.

It is about learning to walk beside it.

Embrace Your Journey

If today is heavy, that’s okay. You don’t need to be brave or positive. You are on a mountain, and you are doing your best. That is enough. That is everything.

Take a breath. Take a step. And when you're ready... take another.

Remember, healing is not a destination. It’s an ongoing journey. Allow yourself to embrace it. It's okay to take your time and acknowledge where you are right now. After all, every step counts on the path to healing.